Wish You Were Here
by blinkblink
Summary: An accident splits Philanthropy before it ever finds its feet. In this age of electronic supervision, the Philanthropists are forced to resort to old standbys to communicate. Vague SnakexOtacon.


Disclaimer: I continue my happy tradition of not owning MGS. In other news FF. net (wow, you are NOT making any friends by preventing me from WRITING YOUR NAME), predictably, messed up the paragraph spacing. Rakuen's got the proper divisions, link's on my profile.

Excerpt from the _Chicago Tribune, _Sunday July 9th,

_An afternoon shooting yesterday on a downtown sidewalk left three men injured, one seriously. A United States Army-trained soldier known to the public as Solid Snake was approached by three uniformed policemen, and the situation immediately escalated into a prolonged shoot-out. Solid Snake and another man, presumed to be the _Metal Gear_ engineer Dr. Hal Emmerich, fled the scene in __opposite__ directions and have yet to be apprehended. The public is urged to report any sightings of these two men, but on no circumstances to approach them as they are considered armed and dangerous. Solid Snake has been wanted by the Army for questioning since the Shadow Moses incident nine months ago, in which he…_

_Solid Snake con't A6_

Excerpt from the Chicago _Daily Herald_, Sunday July 9th,

_Witness reports paint a picture of mass confusion, both on the part of the officers present and the suspects. It seems at this point that the confrontation was unforeseen by both parties, and was sparked by a hail from a bystander who recognised Solid Snake. This led to an immediate effort by Snake and his companion to leave the area, and drew the attention of three near-by policemen. Neither man complied with the officers' requests to halt and, when one attempted to __restrain__ Snake, the soldier drew a handgun. It is not clear at this time who fired first, but multiple shots were fired in a running chase. Snake and his companion were separated and although the officers broke into two groups to follow, they lost sight of both men almost immediately. One of the officers was severely wounded in the encounter, another received a flesh wound. Witnesses report Snake was injured when he fled the scene, and there has been a suggestion that his companion suffered a potentially incapacitating fall. As of yet neither man has been taken into custody and a nation-wide man-hunt is already underway._

Copies sent to: Minneapolis MN, Salt Lake City UT, Reno NV, Seattle WA, Fairbanks AK

_Tues July 11__th_

_Dr. David Bowman,_

_How are you? I am well, and really hoping to meet you again; you must remember me from our work together concerning Jupiter. Please send me a reply as soon as possible at the Holiday Inn, 5213 West Carter St., Detroit, MI, 52053._

_Sincerely,_

_Dr. Huey Alryth _

Excerpt from the _New York Times_, Thurs July 13th,

_Despite a number of close calls, and hundreds of reported sightings, the renegade soldier Solid Snake and his suspected accomplice Dr. Hal Emmerich have not yet been __apprehended__. A close review of surveillance tapes from stores near the Chicago shoot-out have revealed Snake's companion to indeed be Dr. Hal Emmerich, the man who designed the notorious _Metal Gear REX_. Emmerich and Solid Snake met at Shadow Moses Island during the terrorist incident there nine months ago, and both afterwards dropped out of sight. It is believed that these two men have been working together since, although the motives behind such a …_

_Dangerous alliance con't A14 _

Holiday Inn, 5213 West Carter St., Detroit, MI, 52053.

_Thurs July 27__th_

_Dr. Huey Alryth,_

_I am recovering from a mild condition, the same my associate M.S. was unfortunate enough to get in the way of some months ago. And you? A meeting at this time is impossible, but I would like to hear from you again. Send a reply to 412 Cooper Ave, Cincinnati, OH, 63421. _

_David Bowman_

412 Cooper Ave, Cincinnati, OH, 63421

_Tues Aug. 1__st_

_Dr. David Bowman,_

_I'm glad to hear from you! How severe is your condition? I injured myself in the way you worried I might have when we first met; although the trouble is in the area your spur-wearing friend had his, on the opposite side. Nothing too unmanageable. It's been so long since I actually wrote a letter! I think I'm getting a cramp in my hand. Reply to 6042 Jefferson St, Toledo, OH, 49829._

_Dr. Huey Alryth_

Excerpts from _The New Yorker_ August edition article "Who is Solid Snake?"

_Who is Solid Snake? __Last November__ after the near nuclear launch crisis at Shadow Moses Island, most Americans were unaware that the infiltration team sent in to defuse the terrorist situation was in fact just one man: Solid Snake. Now, ten months later, all of America is ringing with his name not on account of his heroism, but his unjustifiable actions on the streets of Chicago, which endangered dozens of lives. But hero or villain, little to nothing is known of this remarkable man. His name first appears in public records as a member of the now-defunct FoxHound unit, which…_

_Although little has been made public of what exactly transpired on Shadow Moses Island, compared to that little, nothing is known of Snake's life afterwards. He disappeared from the facility, and was not picked up in the subsequent sweeps of the base by American Army personnel. The cabin which Army records reveal him to have owned near Fairbanks, Alaska, was sold eight months ago to a new owner, who never met Snake in person. Snake vanished after his last mission, and immediate attempts by the Army to track him down were curiously incomplete and uncoordinated. From recent events it is clear he has had some contact with at least one of the people associated with that mission: Dr. Hal Emmerich. Dr. Emmerich returned to mainland America immediately after the Shadow Moses Incident, spending some weeks in Seattle. After that he too disappeared, and has made no contacts with his former life…_

_It is clear that these two men have been in communication. While Snake is not the type to leave a trail behind, Emmerich's actions are reported as uncharacteristic by those who knew him prior to his stay at Shadow Moses. It is likely that these men have, for whatever reason, gone underground together. Whatever purpose motivates them, if any, the one thing we can be sure of is that they do not want to be found._

6042 Jefferson St, Toledo, OH, 49829

_Mon Aug 7__th__,_

_Dr. Huey Alryth,_

_I am almost recovered from my mild condition; there is no cause for concern. How serious is your own? What is your estimated prognosis? As you have no doubt noticed, the weather recently has been very hot, and I recommend remaining indoors. If you could arrange to get me some of that commodity which the people in that Bounty Hunting show of yours were always so unlucky with, I would appreciate it. In regards to the information which you have been sending last in your letters, more caution is needed. Please reverse the last two single variables of both numerical marks, and change the first single variable of the name, giving a clue to the real one; I will do the same. The first letter of the lead of your show. Reply to: 9310 Gouthby St. Providence, RI 63098._

_David Bowman_

9301 Southby St. Providence, RI, 63089

_Wed Aug. 16__th_

_Dr. David Bowman,_

_Please find enclosed your request. Let me know if you run short again. They say I will be completely recovered in 1 month, but time goes by very slowly these days, remarkably so. There is no pain, and not much inconvenience. I had noted the heat, and have been taking precautions. Not much is going on here; I've had to procure a new (and inferior) laptop. I suppose there is no chance of you emailing? When do you think we could meet? First initial of the man you still considered a friend when we met. Reply to: 17 Hyleigh Ave. Toledo, OH, 39582._

_Dr. Huey Alryth_

Excerpt from the _Boston Herald_, Mon Aug. 21st.

_A recent false-sighting of the renegade soldier Solid Snake threw Boston into alarm late yesterday evening. A man was spotted in the Washington St. branch of _Macy's _whom several staff members took to be the wanted mercenary. Police and a SWAT team were called__ in__. The entire building was evacuated and searched before the incident was cleared as a false alarm. _

_Solid Snake is still at large, and is currently wanted under 12 charges. His accomplice, Dr. Hal Emmerich, is wanted for questioning. There has been no confirmed sighting of either man since the July 8__th__ shooting in Chicago. The public is advised to remain vigilant, but not to approach either man as both are considered armed and dangerous._

71 Ryleigh Ave. Toledo, OH, 39528.

_Thurs Aug. 24__th__,_

_Dr. Huey Alryth,_

_I received your package, and your prognosis. Are you continuing in your work? I would advise you to do so. I am doing my best to keep myself busy in that line, although as you know it is difficult for me to work without an associate. There is no chance of email. National scandals are very prominent these days, aren't they? It's interesting the names they link and the energies people spend pursuing them. Of course, the more people remain together, the more conspicuous they become. As to the trip you mentioned, I don't think it's very feasible just now. The first letter of the word "no" in your shows. Reply to: 630 Anverness St. Pittsburgh, PA, 23405_

_David Bowman_

603 Inverness St. Pittsburgh, PA 23450

_Thurs Aug. 31__st__,_

_Dr. David Bowman,_

_I am in favour of a meeting. It would be nice to see a friendly face. But if you're sure it's not possible right now then I'll wait. I have been following the scandals closely. Do you think they will blow over soon? Middle letter of the long-range item I helped you obtain to help M.S. Reply to 8326 Atation St. Toledo, OH, 39983_

_Dr. Huey Alryth_

8362 Station St. Toledo, OH, 39938

_Wed Sept. 6__th__, _

_Dr. Huey Alryth,_

_You've been a bit inactive__.; you'll start gathering moss.__ I do think it's unfeasible. If no further clue is found, I expect the scandals may blow over in another month, although after the negative publicity the one has caused the other, it might be best to let things lie a__l__l__together. __The last movie we watched. __Reply to 326 Teirner St. Knoxville TE, 46592_

_David Bowman_

Excerpt from the _Toledo Blade_ Sat Sept 9th,

_Reported sightings of the fugitive Dr. Hal Emmerich have been confirmed by the Toledo Police Department. Emmerich was tracked by police to a downtown apartment early Friday morning. However, when police arrived at the scene, the apartment was found to be empty. A perimeter was immediately established around the nearby blocks which was successful in locating the wanted man waiting at a bus stop two streets over. Emmerich refused orders to turn himself in, and instead ran across a busy street to evade police pursuit; witnesses report he was struck by a car. He continued running, and disappeared into an alleyway. Further efforts to track him have so far been unsuccessful. The public is asked to report any sightings of Dr. Emmerich, and to avoid contact. Dr. Emmerich is wanted for his complicity in a street shoot-out in Chicago two months ago, in which … _

Fugitive sighting con't on A6.

_8362 Station St. Toledo, OH, 39938_

_Mon Sept 11__th__, _

_Dr. Huey Alryth,_

_Are you alright? It used to stick on your keyboard. Reply to 784 Yllard Rd., Memphis, TE, 60319_

_David Bowman_

Excerpt from the_ Cleveland Plain Dealer_, Wednesday Sept 13th,

_Following Friday's sighting of nationally-wanted Dr. Hal Emmerich, cities within 200 miles of Toledo are showing a marked increase in vigilance for both Emmerich and the renegade soldier Solid Snake. Emmerich's disappearance from Toledo suggests he may well have fled both the city, and possibly the state. There has not been any confirmed sighting of Solid Snake to date, but many fear that where one man is, the other may not be far behind. Mayor Philliter in a press conference yesterday expressed this sentiment, warning the public that in the wake of this close call, both men could be dangerously on edge, and may be seeking shelter in the area. Hotel, motel and apartment owners are being asked to familiarize themselves with the appearance of both men, in the hopes that …_

_8362 Station St. Toledo, OH, 39938_

_Wed Sept 20__th__,_

_Dr. Huey Alryth,_

_Where are you? The disgusting tea you like. Reply 2918 Pathier's Ave., St. Louis, 20818_

_David Bowman_

_2981 Rathier's Ave., St. Louis, MO, 20818_

_Mon Oct 2__nd__,_

_Dr. David Bowman,_

_I'm alright. And I don't want to let things lie. The only internet slang you know. Reply to 285 Icre Ave, Omaha, NE, 50285_

_Dr. Huey Alryth_

_258 Ocre Ave, Omaha, NE, 50258_

_Mon Oct 9__th__, _

_Dr. Huey Alryth,_

_What the hell happened? My cigarettes. 52 Hampton Cres. Detroit, MI, 10984_

_David Bowman_

_25 Lampton Cres. Detroit, MI, 10948_

_Wed Oct 18__th__,_

_Dr. David Bowman_

_Some friends of ours, the every-day type of those who used to follow you around at S.M. tried to hook up with me. You know me, clumsy as ever, and I got into a bit of trouble crossing the road with them – of course right after I got over my last problem. Nothing too serious, and the traffic held them up as well. I moved on from my apartment, and had to get my letters forwarded. What you were that time I came in and dropped my tea. 1593 Olster Ave. Kansas City, KA, 35986_

_Dr. Huey Alryth_

_1539 Ulster Ave. Kansas City, KA, 35968_

_Tues Oct 24__th__,_

_Dr. Huey Alryth,_

_Define a bit of trouble. You should take better care of yourself. I read a newspaper account. How did your friends happen to find you?_

_You might notice, since you were interested earlier, than some of the scandals have re-surfaced. _

_As to letting things lie… I won't press you, __but you could still__– only your association with__ – do what you want. The rank of that guy who sets things on fire by snapping. 49 Lushings St. Fargo, ND, 29821_

_David Bowman_

_94 Cushings St. Fargo, ND, 29812_

_Wed Nov 1__st__,_

_Dr. David Bowman,_

_Just scrapes and bruises. Already almost taken care of. I think one of the neighbours must have tipped them off. I thought – well, I'm sure there was a reason. I'll be more careful._

_I did notice. __But I don't give__ – it doesn't matter._

_When can we meet? What you kept doing at that waitress at IHOP. 692 Vincoln Rd. Denver, CO, 52085_

_Dr. Huey Alryth_

_629 Lincoln Rd., Denver, CO, 52058_

_Thurs Nov 9__th__,_

_Dr. Huel Alryth,_

_Good. __And try__ – __Don't__ – __I'm__ – Never mind. _

_When things die down. Again. In a while. _

_Not too long. _

_David – Bowman _

_PS: the thing I left in with M.S. when you stayed behind. 92 Nackweed Cres, Billings, MO. 71526_

_29 Jackweed Cres, Billings, MO. 71562_

_Wed Nov 16__th__, _

_Dr. David Bowman_

_Seems like you're running out of things to reprimand me for. You'll be glad to know I've been doing some work, even with this piece of junk I've had to settle for. And I've been working on the prize I brought back from our first conference. You remember I had to take it apart to bring it down with me, and it hasn't been quite the same since. It's more stable now; I used it during my most recent conference. It was more fun when you were there._

_There's about two feet of snow on the ground here. __Reminds me__ –__Kind of like__ –It's damn cold. The second name of the person who gave me a handkerchief. 2649 Gilling St. Casper, WY, 19643_

_Dr. Huey Alryth_

_2694 Willing St. Casper, WY, 19634_

_Thurs Nov 24__th__,_

_Dr. Huel Alryth_

_Don't get cocky. But I'm glad to know you have that prize; I thought it got left behind._

_I'm travelling hard to get out of the middle of nowhere. It's different than – but you're right, in some ways, it's similar too. I never thought I'd get tired of it, before. Funny. You know, I'm not actually sure I'd ever written a real letter, before all this. (_Or_ been inconvenienced by Thanks Giving)._

_Same; second name of handkerchief-__lady__. 704 Easterling Rd, Spokane WA, 59205_

_David Bowman_

_740 Wasterling Rd, Spokane WA, 59250_

_Fri Dec 1__st__,_

_Dr. David Bowman,_

_I can't believe it's December already. It's been – well, a long time since I last saw y– anyone I know. Not like I used to know that many people anyway. You'd think being alone would be second nature by now. _

_Do you realise it's been a year since Seattle? I was looking through some old documents I backed up online. P. was only nine months old when all this happened. Almost stillborn, huh? _

_The cause of your brother's death. 94 Aranklin Ave. Boise IH, 38649_

_Dr. Huey Alryth_

_49 Franklin Ave. Boise IH, 38694_

_Thurs Dec 7__th__,_

_Dr. Huey Alryth,_

_You don't get used to it. You start out used to it, or not. Even if you've been alone your whole life, you can still forget how to live with it. You just wake up one morning, lonely as hell without knowing why. _

_As for being stillborn, there's always resuscitation. If you think there's a chance at life._

_First name of the mind reader. 8619 Marker St. Seattle WA, 79261_

_David Bowman _

----------------------------------------------------------

Seattle was built on a steep hillside curving down to the sea. The tourist traps were set down at the bottom of the dip bordering on the ocean, in what had probably once been a swamp, while the usual range of high-end downtown stores had rooted there and spread creeping insidiously up the hillside. Snake had spent an afternoon driving around, familiarising himself with the city's heart, before retreating back up the slope and out into the outlying suburbs.

The city was green both literally and politically, caffeine-addicted, smart in a pretentious business-suit-with-strappy-heels-and-frameless-glasses kind of way, and almost perpetually shaded by thick gray clouds. The few days which had been clear, though, had afforded a breathtaking view. The sea shone bright blue stricken through with dashes of glistening silver, while the mountains towering on the horizon curved gently to nestle the city in their centre, uniformly a faded smoky blue except where the tips were splashed with pristine white. Snake had seen plenty of nature's beauty, and the view here was not more amazing than the Alaskan tundra on a brittle-clear day, or the sunset on the red Kenyan savannah, or gentle morning sunlight turning the mist gold in the lush verdant jungles of Madagascar. But it wasn't less, either.

It was, unsurprisingly, raining now. Standing by an open window of the fifth-floor apartment, damp cigarette dangling from his fingers, Snake peered out into the wet evening. It was never really dark here, even outside of the city proper, gray sky trapping the light pollution in a gentle dome to replace the hidden moon and stars. Cities nowadays were all the same in that respect. Streetlights turned the falling rain gold, taillights turned it crimson, headlights bright silver. He blew a lungful of smoke out into the cool night air, watched it disappear almost immediately. Even in December he found it warm enough to leave the window open all night, although the stained carpet under the sill would be even darker with damp by morning. Not that it mattered. He'd be out of here as soon as Hal's next letter arrived, moving south to do a long slow loop of the desert states.

He'd come back to Seattle on a whim. The only thing that mattered was to keep moving, keep his head down, and wait for the storm to pass by before establishing a slightly more permanent shelter. Any direction would have done, he could have toured the states to complete a game of connect-the-dots for all the difference it would have made. But something in him had said Go West, and he'd gone. It had, he thought, less to do with the pioneering instinct than the need to return to something familiar. Seattle was no home to him; the longest he'd spent there had been a week. But it had been Philanthropy's womb, the beginning of a new life cut startlingly short. No real missions had been run, no real gains had been made. Hal was right; it had been stillborn despite the care, the hope, the interest its parents had poured into it. And yet, the city held warm associations, ties to a time he had been more than one man on his own, something he had never thought he would care for, care about. He hadn't noticed it then, but he did now; he felt like a strip of beach left bare and baking by the retreating tide.

Outside, a sudden gust of wind blew in a sheet of rain, speckling his t-shirt with dark droplets. His cigarette hissed and went out in a puff of smoke. Snake sighed and flicked it out the window and tilted forward just slightly to watch it fall. It twisted down into the darkness silently like a bleached and badly deformed maple seedling. In the instant it should have hit the ground a loud knocking came from behind him. Snake started and turned away from the window in one movement, flattening himself against the wall next to the window even as his ears replayed the sound for his brain: two knocks, then one, then one again. The knock he and Hal had used.

Snake crossed the carpeted living area quickly, picking up a silenced M9 from the floor as he went, gun's smooth grip a familiar weight in his hand. The apartment being cheap on the mouldy-with-rats end of the slum scale, the hollow door had no peep-hole. Snake twisted back the rusted bolt and, gun in his left hand, drew open the door in one smooth movement.

Standing in the hallway, apparently unconcerned by the pistol barrel pointed at his forehead, was an unfamiliar face with well-known gray eyes. Which broke into a wide smile almost immediately. "Hi," said Hal, face lost somewhere under a thick brown beard, moustache and floppy-brimmed felt hat.

Snake stared out from under low lids, expression neutral. He flicked the safety on, then slowly switched the M9 to his left hand, eyes never leaving Hal's. Finally, damp draught from behind raising the hairs on his neck while the naked gun in his hand scratched against his nerves, he sighed and extended his right hand. Irritatingly, the corner of his mouth kept twitching ridiculously.

Hal fumbled with a small duffel bag and a thick plastic one – backpack perched on his back, Snake noted – and shook Snake's hand, allowing the soldier to draw him into the tiny apartment and bolt the door after him. "You know," he said as Snake let go of his hand to direct him into the centre of the small unfurnished living space, "we really need a secret handshake, or something." He dropped his duffle on the floor, and shed his backpack with considerably more care, leaning it up against a wall. The plastic bag he set down next to the duffel. "I mean, leaving it to spontaneity is clearly not going to work. That was a great chance right there, and we missed it due to lack of forward thinking, which I really think needs to be addressed in the future, because _come on_, what sort of super-secret international infiltration group can hold its head up without forward thinking? Or a secret handshake?" The engineer's words poured out all in a stream, like water from a pitcher, not stopping until he had exhausted his air supply, after which he was forced to pause and gasp.

"Hal, you're rambling."

"Am I?" The engineer smiled, or at least the mass of hair twitched, and he took a slightly deeper breath. "Sorry. I was kind of expecting you to be mad." He reached up and, grasping hat and beard, pulled them off. They came off all in a piece and he dropped them on top of his duffle where they lay accurately portraying a dead rat in its nest. Without them, Hal looked much the same as usual. Pale skin just slightly more tanned than it had been, face left unshaven for a couple of days, gray eyes bright. His hair was now a shade of brown past copper and into chestnut. His glasses were missing, and Snake was surprised at the difference it made, their absence allowing him to connect the planes of Hal's face to a greater degree than usual. It strengthened his features, accenting cheekbones and jaw, as well as the straight line of his nose and, less surprisingly, his eyes. Possibly the months of addressing letters to Hal first put it into his head, but without the familiar divide of the thick frames Snake found himself thinking of the engineer simply as Hal, rather than Otacon; a discrepancy to be addressed later. If the man noticed, he didn't seem to care.

Snake shrugged. "I'm glad you came." It was the truth, which was enough of a reason to allow himself a break from constant vigilance. For about a second. "Even if you shouldn't have. I suppose you weren't followed?"

Hal shook his head. "No. I just got into town a few hours ago. It took me forever to find this place."

"That's its only advantage. Well, that and free dinner. If you like rat."

Hal grimaced and immediately looked to his backpack, as if to make sure rodents hadn't begun swarming it yet. It definitely contained his laptop, then; the only thing Hal actually took care of. Worrying, when you realised his life was included in the list of things it often didn't occur to him to place above his electronics.

"Actually, I brought dinner. Unless you already ate. It's kind of late." He paused between short choppy sentences, glanced out the window into the darkness of the winter evening. "I figured we could have a party. A resuscitation party." Hal squatted down next to the bag and pulled out four plastic boxes of grocery-store sushi, some plastic-wrapped disposable chopsticks, two bottles of sake and a cardboard box. Snake watched him set them out on the bare carpet in quiet amusement. Only Hal would plan a two-man sushi party.

Rather than sitting down next to his food, Hal stood again and looked around the apartment. Apart from his own luggage, the only thing in the bare room was a plastic garbage can with the lid firmly fastened. The tiny kitchen corner at the back of the room was as naked as the rest, dirty brown borders on the square of linoleum and the chipping block of counter indicating where appliances long since removed to their junk-yard graves had once sat. The window on the right was bare, not even a twisted set of Venetian blinds to block out the dim glow of light pollution. The two doors set into the left wall were both open, doors hanging crooked on their hinges. The bedroom door didn't shut at all, could only be jammed into a firm state of ajar-ness from inside. The bathroom door shut leaving a yawning gap between door and frame. Apart from the bathroom fixtures and Snake's own luggage, the only other object in the apartment was a moulding mattress in the bedroom, with ragged holes chewed in the bottom. Snake slept on the floor in the living room.

"I'm going to take out these contacts," said Hal, glancing at the bathroom and then pausing, suddenly awkward. "If that's okay," he added, looking back at the food and luggage he had already unquestioningly laid out, then back to Snake.

Snake paused, tongue on teeth, confronted with a need for an opinion sooner than he was ready to provide one. At a loss, he shrugged his permission for the engineer to re-enter his life. "Do what you want." As hard as he tried, he couldn't seem to remember the last time someone had _asked_ before levering themselves in. The never asked before ripping themselves out, either.

The vague allowance seemed to be good enough for Hal, who moved off in the direction of the bathroom. "Don't touch anything you don't have to," Snake told the retreating line of his spine as an afterthought.

The soldier sat down by the sushi, long legs crossed loosely, and picked up the cardboard box. His fingers weighed it, sought for suspicious dampness or firmness, stains or smells almost without his conscious attention. It contained at least two objects which fit the dimensions well, not overly-heavy, wrapped in tissue paper or something similar. Sliding a finger under the flap and slipping it open with a papery whisper, he found it contained two sake glasses and a small curved jug just a little too big to nestle comfortably in his palm. They looked to his untrained eyes like cheap porcelain, an uneven dusty ochre in colour and slightly rough in texture, the kind of thing you found in the more pretentious dollar stores. Here in Seattle, gateway to the Orient, the things were probably a dime a dozen. Snake had little more experience with sake, but the 23% alcohol content promised to make things interesting, at least.

He had just pulled over one of the packets of sushi – entirely composed of California Rolls, the label informed him – when Hal returned and sat down on the other side of the packets from him. He had at some point changed his glasses, turned in the old round frames of Shadow Moses in favour of a thinner rectangular pair, tinted green. They certainly suited him better, although it would frankly have been hard to do worse after the other pair, which had probably been the cheapest set in the store. They had been the kind of glasses mothers bought children to punish them for breaking theirs too often.

Sitting there watching Hal sitting awkwardly on his legs like a kneeling camel, long fingers wrapped expertly around chopsticks, pointing out all the different types of sushi with names and ingredients, it was like the past six months had never happened. They had never lost contact. They had not nearly fallen into disaster. They had not very nearly split onto two different paths, comets swinging by the same star before shooting off into the darkness in different directions. Hal was the same, chattering on eagerly about his interests, trying to draw Snake into them, attempting to force sushi on Snake from his chopsticks, chiding him about his reticence in trying the raw tuna roll – Snake would eat almost anything raw, including fish, if he had to, but his tastes and Hal's had never overlapped much in the past and he sincerely doubted now would be any different.

But there were differences. Hal was smiling more, laughing more, and hadn't had enough sake yet to account for it. And he himself wasn't much different. Fewer smiles, considerably fewer laughs, but the sentiment was there. Enjoyment. Happiness. Relief. It had an oddly warm taste.

-------------------------------------------------------------

"So I had to case the surrounding libraries, until I found one with unsupervised computers and – what?"

"Just imagining you casing something."

"Well, I did." Indignant. "Anyway, I found one eventually and spent all afternoon hacking sites and arranging to get a laptop on pickup at a local store. _All afternoon_. You cannot imagine the misery that is a public computer. And then, of course, it had to be a crappy one because no one's gonna let 3,000 dollars go without a few questions no matter what their system's telling them."

"You're telling me you got a free laptop, and you're unhappy about it?"

"Well, it's really inferior. I mean, it's running with _last year's_ processor – what?"

-------------------------------------------------------------

"I drove through the Midwest as fast as I could manage without running the damn car into the ground. It's nice if you've got someplace to stay, but driving there in the winter's hell, skidding around with hundreds of pounds of sandbags in your trunk. It's different than Alaska, but even before I got your letter I was thinking: the similarity's there."

"Yeah."

"I was driving past – I don't know, one of those tiny towns in Montana, the 'get your gas here or you'll run out before you get to the next town' one street joints, just stopping for the night. It was so damn cold you could see it in the air, the water in the atmosphere freezing into ice crystals, shining like diamond dust. I looked up at the sun and there were three of them." He paused. "Reminded me of when I first moved up North. I came out of the hotel and there they were, the sun in the middle and a little one on either side, just over the horizon. Thought I'd caught hypothermia without noticing, started seeing things. This old man, wearing about five coats and one of those hats no one's worn for a hundred years with the fur-lined ear flaps and smelling like he'd skinned the rabbit himself, came up and asked what I was doing staring at the sky like an ass. Apparently it's some reflection of the sun off the ice crystals, or something, happens all the time when it gets cold as fuck. They call them sun dogs. Nice name. Nice place."

"You miss it."

"Nah. You get tired of having to break the water in the toilet quicker than you'd think. The air's so dry all the skin under your nose dries up and stings like hell and you get nosebleeds sometimes just from breathing. But standing there in the middle of nowhere, land so flat you can see all the way straight to the horizon in every direction with crystals sparkling in air crisp enough to cut ice, and the sun dogs shining low in the sky… You can't help but like that."

----------------------------------------------------------------

"Well, while you were gone this new show took the internet by storm – Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu,"

"Catchy title."

"It means the Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi. All the episodes were mixed up and it was about aliens and time travelers and psychics and the end of the world except only kind of."

"And, let me guess, school girls?"

"That's unfair. Not all my shows involve school girls."

"If you say so."

"_As it happens_, this one does. But that does not mean they all do. Many of them do not."

"If you say so."

"Really. I mean, well, Beserk! had no school girls. Or, actually, any schools. Just bucketfuls of crazy all jammed into the last two episodes. And… FMA, no school girls there, just plenty of angst and creepy human transformation."

"If you say so."

"_Stop saying that_."

----------------------------------------------------------------

"I was lucky, the second shop I tried in Pittsburgh was run by an ex-merc with plenty of beauties put by."

"You didn't think people in _gun shops_ would be looking out for you?"

"I went in disguise."

A pause.

"It was a _good_ disguise. Plenty of dye and facial hair and a stammer and … glasses."

"You wore glasses."

"Yes."

"What kind?"

"You know. Those ones with the big frames, the ones that make you look like a bug, prescription high enough to fry ants."

"They were turtle-shell rimmed, weren't they?"

"No."

…

"Maybe."

"Oh God, I bet it was like 1985 all over again. Where's my cup gone?"

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"They were all sso nice. The lady next to me baked me lasagne for dinner once; it rained all day and I came home soaked 'n forgot to buy dinner 'n there was nothing in the apartment 'n she saw me standing staring at my door 'n invited me in. The one across the hall lent me a … a frying pan for a week. I helped the kid next door open his door when he came home alone 'n couldn't work the lock. Little girl at the end of the hall had a lemonade sale 'n everyone bought some 'n we all drank it even though she forgot to put the sugar in it. They were all so _nice_. 'N one of them called me in."

"It could have been someone else. Someone across the street, or who saw you walking home."

"Probably wasn't though."

"No. Probably it wasn't."

"Almost forgot wha's like being alone, not trusting people – trying not to trust people. Hurts."

-------------------------------------------------------------

"You know, 'til I met you, I was never lonely."

The evening had worn on. Almost all the sushi had been consumed, mostly by Hal, only three abandoned rolls sitting in the bottom of the California Roll box with a sliver of pink ginger and nearly the entire wasabi mound. The two sake bottles were lying empty on the floor, rolled away to keep each other company near Hal's duffle. Snake had no idea how full the earthenware jug was, and didn't care to know. Hal's cup was lying on its side, and had been for a while. He didn't appear to have noticed. Snake's was still upright, and mostly full, which seemed to be the trick to stopping Hal refilling it. The soldier's chopsticks had been forsaken early on for fingers, but Hal had retained his, was tipping them slowly between his fingers up and down like seesaws. Alcohol had lubricated his joints, and he was sitting in a kind of drunken sprawl now, still half on his legs, closer to Snake than he had started out, and was watching the soldier through crooked glasses. He flushed at Snake's words, dropped a chopstick and fumbled to pick it up.

"'S not a nice thing t' say."

"Can't miss something you never had. Had comrades, allies, brothers in arms, you name it. The whole works. Never spent more than three days at a time with any of them. Only kept in touch with two of 'em for more'n a year, and one of 'em's dead now. Figured: friends, who needs 'em? Drink your booze, borrow your money and steal your guns. Never needed anyone, never had time for 'em. And then, out of nowhere, there was you." He tried for accusatory, but somehow all that came out was confusion laced with passive acceptance.

Snake looked down at his cup as if searching in it for the idea he couldn't quite seem to grasp. He grabbed his drink instead, threw the shallow contents down his throat with the heavy but only slightly awkward movements characteristic of someone well used to the idiosyncrasies of his body when drunk. Thought too difficult to corral, he shot off in a slightly different direction.

"It's stupid. Everything started out being about Philanthropy, ended up being about us. People don't matter. Goals matter."

"D'you really believe that?" Hal was knocking his chopsticks against one of the three remaining rolls, tipping it back and forth and around in a circle like a whirligig.

Snake considered, eyes tracking around the apartment, stopping on Hal's duffle, the water drops beading on the still-open window frame, the garbage can, Hal's hands. "Used to. Used to be, people made no difference. Goddamn Shadow Moses, turned the world up on its head. People started mattering for people, not the numbers in their heads." He curled his lips briefly, somewhere between a sneer and a wince. "Figured Meryl got it out of my system. Done with people, done caring. So how come my letters ended up reading like damn 'wish you were here' postcards? Uh-uh. Emotions, they're like ringworms. Once they gets their hooks in you, good luck getting 'em out again. Wake up one morning, and instead of knowing what you've got, suddenly all you're thinking about's what's missing. Like worrying 'bout it's gonna fix it."

Hal smiled crookedly. "I've got plenty of worries. But you, you're not 'fraid of nothing."

"Can't be afraid for something without caring for it," said Snake, with backwards logic which at that precise moment made clear sense. "Only thing I ever had was my own skin; born 'n bred 'n raised not to hold onto that too tight. Now? I'm afraid for – for goddamn world peace." He snarled bitterly. "How is that better?"

Hal shrugged, a movement without any apparent coordination. "Maybe 's not. Never said it was easy. Sometimes, you get cut down again, 'n again, 'n again. You just keep hoping, maybe this time it'll be different. Hasn't been yet. Wish you didn't care?"

"Yeah. No. Maybe. Hell if I know. Never was goddamn lonely before." Snake paused, listening to the soft patter of the rain on the window, the gentle sighs of the engineer's breathing, his own barely audible breaths. Somewhere in the cloudy haze of inebriation a memory flickered like far-off lightning; Hal's gray eyes peeking out from between hat-brim and bushy beard, the unusual warmth of genuine happiness the man's appearance had triggered. "But… never looked forward to much of anything, either. Other'n ammo drops," he added with only slightly slurred conscientiousness.

"Think they even out?"

"Doubt it. Nothing else ever does. Only kind of fair I've ever seen had big tops 'n damn creepy clowns." Another pause. "Y'know, though, after a while, you get used to kicks in the teeth. Or get some caps."

Hal considered this for a minute, setting down his chopsticks and rearranging himself into a sloppy cross-legged slump, heavy lids beginning to droop. His brows furrowed as he painstakingly tried to lay out the equation. "So," he said slowly, "Philanthropy, 's like fake teeth?"

Snake rolled his eyes, but reached out an almost steady hand to stop Hal tipping over sideways when the man shifted again. "So," he said quietly, gripping the engineer's shoulder tighter than strictly necessary. "I'm glad you came back."

Hal ducked his head in embarrassment, but then raised it again to meet Snake's eyes. "Me too. I mean, that I came back – not you, 'cause you were already here 'n already glad, but 'm glad too 'n-"

"Hal. You're rambling." His lips were twisting into a smile completely of their own accord, again. Definitely something to look into. Tomorrow, maybe. When he wasn't piss drunk.

"God, 'm drunk," mumbled Hal, echoing the soldier's thoughts. He pulled a heavy hand through his now-dark hair.

"Yep," said Snake, almost cheerfully, riding the odd emotional high. It didn't have the fiery strength of combat high, but equally there seemed to be no scorching after-burn. Just a soft-edged pool of something like sunlight, spreading gently through him. It was probably due to this that when Hal tried to sort out his legs and tipped forward into the soldier's chest, he made no move to push him off, just shuffled him over into a less awkward sprawl and twisted his own arms around to accommodate the engineer.

"We're gonna be _so_ hungover tomorrow," Hal's voice was muffled by the fabric of Snake's shirt, breath warm even through it.

"Yep," said Snake again, with darker conviction. Hal groaned and made an abortive attempt to pull himself away from his only means of support. He abandoned it after a minute with a kind of disgusted grunt, and dropped back to lean against Snake. His glasses impressed a straight line just under the soldier's collarbone, almost clean above his heart. Snake wondered the beating didn't bother the man. If it did, he showed no sign of it.

"Don't wake me up f'r it," slurred Hal, adjusting himself almost bonelessly. It was only with the engineer's warmth resting against him that it occurred to Snake that the room was much colder than usual room temperature, that most people were used to sleeping at a temperature even higher than that, that Hal was not really most people but in this matter the point probably still applied, and that he had no blankets. Although not quite in that level of clarity. In fact, the actual thought process was one much closer to instinct; the knowledge that he was warm, Hal was not, and right now for whatever reason he felt the need to look after the engineer.

Movements already growing sluggish with the knowledge that the night's activities were winding down with the speed of a crashing plane, and that therefore further alertness wasn't going to be called for, Snake levered the engineer out of his lap and onto the ground next to him. The engineer stirred heavily, looking up at Snake with dark eyes the colour of shadowed steel. Snake angled himself to better accommodate the man. "Go back to sleep."

Whether he did it because the soldier told him to or would have in any case, the engineer closed his eyes and dropped his head onto Snake's shoulder. It revealed a level of trust which would at other times have disturbed the soldier, but as it was he watched with the shadow of a smile as he wrapped a loose arm around the small of the engineer's back.

Snake twisted away from the wall and slumped down to lie flat out on the thin carpet. Hal sighed and rolled his head to the side, still pillowed on Snake's shoulder, body lying close enough to get the benefit of the soldier's warmth. And give the benefit of his own. Snake took a deep breath and let it out again, holding stock still for a moment to listen in silence to the normal sounds of the room at peace and memorize them before closing his eyes. After a moment, his head rolled back to rest against the top of Hal's.

Later, there would be time to shut the window, to down aspirin and glasses of water, to sort what needed sorting. For now, there was the soft sound of the rain outside, and a cool breeze, and Hal's sleepy warmth at his side. It was all he needed.


End file.
